Through my studies of Counselling, I have been fascinated by all the different approaches that many psychologists have used in human history to understand why we behave as we do.
If you are interested in finding out about the several theories of how we develop our personalities since we were born, you will be immersed in an entire world of propositions that try to give us a better comprehension of this subject. However, most of these theories have something in common: they believe that the way we interacted with our immediate surroundings e.g.(primary caregivers and our direct environment) seems to have a big impact on the person we are today and influence the way we do things.
Every person has a different past and even if you grew up with your siblings in the same environment, your perceptions could be very different from theirs, that’s why you are unique! This is a huge subject to explore but it is believed that some people have a tendency to sabotage their relationships to avoid getting into a long-term commitment.
This reaction seems to be associated with the fear of attachment as they didn’t develop a close relationship with their main caregivers during their childhood. This is something that the person could be subconsciously manifesting as a pattern in his/her relationships.
When the person is able to identify those patterns of behaviour through self-reflection, that’s the first step to end self-sabotage.
The part that I love the most is that we human beings can always own our present and start working for a better reality, right here, right now. We do have the option to work on ourselves and as many of us have experienced during the course of this year, we can reinvent the way we do things, the way we perceive things; the present is our most precious asset. Our past is history but our present is the beginning of an extraordinary future.
Self-Reflection: Have you ever caught yourself sabotaging your relationships?